Routine: “The Billionaire’s Adani Simple Wedding”
Alright, folks, let’s talk about weddings. You know, that magical day when two people promise to love each other forever… or until the in-laws move in. But have you seen the news? Gautam Adani just threw a “simple” wedding for his son. Simple. Yeah, right. For billionaires, “simple” means they only hired one Bollywood superstar to sing the national anthem.
They said it’s a “humble, traditional ceremony.” Oh, absolutely. You know, like when your auntie insists on making 15 types of ladoo… except here, the ladoos are probably gold-leafed. And instead of a horse, the groom showed up on a private equity fund.
But here’s the kicker: Adani donated 10,000 CRORE to social causes at the wedding. Ten. Thousand. Crore. You realize that’s more money than my entire family tree has collectively seen since the invention of fire? When I got married, the biggest donation I made was letting my drunk uncle keep the karaoke mic. “Social causes”? Bro, that’s not charity—that’s his way of saying, “Honey, I forgot the ring… but here’s a hospital wing!”
Let me put 10,000 crore into perspective. If you spent ₹1 every second, you’d finish in… 317 years. Adani dropped that like it was a Swiggy order: “Yeah, I’ll take one societal transformation. Extra upliftment, hold the corruption.”
And they called it a “private affair.” Sure. Private as in, “Sorry, Mukesh Ambani, you’re on the waitlist. We’re keeping it intimate—just 500 of our closest oligarchs.”
You know what’s wild? They keep saying they live a “humble lifestyle.” Humble? My guy, your watch has a ZIP code. That’s like saying a Bengal tiger is “just a big kitty.” Sure, until it eats your GDP.
I attended a “simple” wedding once. My college buddy said, “No frills, bro!” Then he arrived on an elephant. An elephant. Turns out, “simple” in Delhi means “we only have one elephant.” Meanwhile, Adani’s version of “low-key” is donating enough money to accidentally fix Mumbai’s potholes.
But hey, props to him. When I donate ₹100 to a GoFundMe, I feel like Mother Teresa. Adani’s out here rewriting philanthropy: “Happy wedding, beta! Here’s 10k crore… for the poor. You? You get a firm handshake and a LinkedIn post.”
In the end, though, it’s sweet. Nothing says “family values” like turning your kid’s wedding into a tax-deductible event. Awww.
Pause for effect
Anyway, folks, if anyone here is getting married, remember: Keep it simple. Just a few friends, a priest… and a spare 10,000 crore for the greater good. Otherwise, are you even trying?
Mic drop. 🎤
